F U From the Other Side

Fifth Ave to Fordham Rd. | Christian Eble | February 22, 2016

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You know those weird cousins that you have in your family?

Like the cousin that thinks he’s in a frat and openly crushes beers against his head at the dinner table?

Or even the more distant cousin who thinks he’s the hot shot on campus, does coke, and can “totally get you into that club?”

You would think that these college-molded, walking stereotypes would hit it off marvelously (they’re family, after all!!) Think of the potential for conversational gold. One could provide the other with pointers on how to do a line and how to cop their own in-house promoter. The other can provide bro tanks and lessons on how to finish off a 12-pack of Natty Lights faster than you can say “Vineyard Vines.” Afterwards, they could both bond over their crippling alcoholism, pass out, and resume this bromance (or romance, what have you) over a boozy brunch in the West Village. It sounds a lot like the plot line to a James Franco/Seth Rogan movie in which the final credits oddly situate them on Greenwich Ave on a Sunday morning, mimosas in hand.

Personally, I’d rather see this motion picture with Rose Hill and Lincoln Center as the leads.

I can see it all now– Rose Hill would invariably play Cousin 1, because they don’t know what it’s like to give anyone else attention. And then the director would eventually scratch Cousin 2 from the screenplay because they only had three lines and their existence was annoying everyone around them.

Fordham students usually don’t give a fuck (or actually just forget) that we actually have two campuses.  And if you don’t know, now you know, Rams: we have one in the Bronx, and one in Manhattan. I get it, everyone knows who Beyonce is, and yes, usually she’s the default sister. But what about Solange? Yeah she’s a little strange and not as beloved, but she’s there too.

RH Student 1: “Well I definitely don’t think badly about them. Honestly I kind of don’t think about them at all…does that sound bad?  Like, I guess I actually kind of forget that Fordham has two campuses…”

LC Student 1: “What’s Rose Hill? [laughs] No I know what it is, but honestly I’ve never been there so I have no idea.”

What you can certainly garner from these (real-life quotes!) is the following: there is a genuine lack of knowledge and/or caring about both campuses.  It seems that if you’re Rose Hill, you don’t really care about Lincoln Center, and vice versa. I think it’s time that we all start acting as one cohesive university, and not two separate entities. Bey and Solange should have a better relationship.  We all secretly know it.  We all desperately want it.

I went to Rose Hill last year, and I really loved it.  I loved the campus feel, got involved on campus, and had that “quintessential college experience.” I will be damned if I didn’t spend every free moment I had cartwheeling across Eddie’s with a frisbee in my mouth. Or opening the beverage fridge at Beer Cave to find Toothless Danny gum-smiling at me from behind the drink shelves.  Or drunkenly trying to ride the Ram statue, begging it to take me somewhere, anywhere.

We’ve all been there.

Although I relished in my ratchet, swill-ridden life and times in the Bronx, I really wanted to live in Manhattan, and Rose Hill’s proximity just wasn’t close enough for me.  So, I transferred. And for the record, there is definitely a VERY different feel to each campus. I went to Rose Hill for a year and have gone to Lincoln Center for almost a year, so I know a thing or two about how both of these places run.   

The problem is how narrow-minded we have become; how quick we are to resign ourselves to the perceptions that have been prescribed to us by our respective [collegiate] “societies”. Both are guilty for passing judgment and disassociating from each other by default. We have all fabricated a completely unwarranted judgement of the other with absolutely no basis to uphold itself. Because SURPRISE! Most of us don’t know each other!

Everyone needs drop the “we’re better than them” act, no matter which campus you’re from. And “them” is a ridiculous term, mind you, because we are actually one and the same. “Them” is an intrinsically isolating pronoun that’s being used to describe something that isn’t even separate. We are supposed to be extensions of each other, not separate and unequal.  Everyone has those attitudes. Don’t lie. I’ve literally gone to both and I STILL do. “Isn’t everyone at Lincoln Center on drugs?” (Probably). “Everyone at Rose Hill is so douchey.” (To a degree, yes!) But that’s okay!  Both campuses are fucking awesome in their own ways.  Learn about the other.  Join clubs and spend time on whichever Fordham campus you don’t attend.

So, fellow Rams. Where do you come in?

For starters, get your shit to the other campus.  I know that most Rose Hill students (at some point) get over to Lincoln Center, but rarely do I meet Lincoln Center students who have been to Rose Hill.  

LC, did you know that you can get a pitcher of beer in the Bronx for $5? $5! How does that make you feel when you literally have to barter with the bartender because drinks are so expensive in NYC? When I go out in the Bronx I get drunk for literally next to nothing.  In the city, I have no choice but to sell my all of chickens and BOTH of my cows just to get a drink. Also, I feel like I hear how everyone at Lincoln Center doesn’t eat or hates their food choices or whatever. Go to the Bronx! It’s literally the “original Little Italy.” The food is cheap and I have never been more aroused than when I am eating a ball of mozzarella like an apple from Casa della Mozzarella.  

Rose Hillers, to answer your question, YES! Your ID DOES work and you are actually allowed inside Lincoln Center! I can’t tell you how many people have asked me that. Also, take classes at Lincoln Center! One thing that I think Lincoln Center definitely does better is their variety of classes.  Instead of taking “Early Irish Literature” or some equally fucking depressing course for Texts and Contexts, why not take “Comic Books and Graphic Novels” or “Gertrude Stein’s Tits” instead? (That last one isn’t offered every semester).

We are lucky to attend a school that offers us (at no additional cost) two different experiences for the price of one! Wow, what a deal!

I’m not trying to be the mom here.  I just want everyone to experience the same awesome shit that I see at both campuses every day.  I can promise that you’ll find something that you like.

And if you don’t, then F U.