Fordham’s Best Kept Secret

Where have we been all your life?

Get RAMMED | The Rival | February 28, 2016

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It’s Friday afternoon. You took a lil’ cat nap after your 2:30, checked your ex’s Instagram, and now you’re ready for a typical night of self-sabotage. After you fill up that bread base by binging at Cosí, you still have approximately two or three hours to kill. You’ll need something to do before putting on the fake eyelashes that were 40% off with your Balance Rewards card. Instead of donning that bodycon that you swore you’d only wear once and taking blurry snapstories of your “friends” in the hallways of Loschert, you could be filling your time productively. You could be getting a heavy dosage of life’s best medicine: Adderall laughter. Sound enticing?

Fordham’s Blackbox Theater is a bitchin’ venue for the night’s best “pregame,” if you will. The home of Fordham’s sketch, improv, stand up, and spoken word poetry teams, the Blackbox (operated by Fordham Experimental Theater//FET) hosts shows every weekend.

If you’re comedy-illiterate, here’s a breakdown:

  • SKETCH– Like Saturday Night Live. A cast of clowns perform several short comedic scenes. Best opportunity to see a shirtless man.
  • IMPROV-A team of smart people make up funny shit on the fly. After being given a suggestion, a 45-minute show is created from nothing. Best opportunity to shout obscenities into the crowd.
  • STAND UP-You know what stand up is.  Best opportunity to hear someone tell a deeply personal sexual story.
  • SPOKEN WORD-Dramatic voices about serious things. Best opportunity to seem sensitive.

Who knew that you didn’t have to pay a $20 cover at a bar or take the D to Flatbush to see comedy? Every FET show is free and you sure as hell can still take the D if you seduce a hot comedian* into going home with you.

Sidenote: FET is not the Mimes and Mummers (real, fancy theater). FET is a bunch of people who have shamelessly peed themselves laughing AND have shitty, low-paid internships where they get coffee for television professionals.

So, let’s say laughing ain’t really your thang this year. You’re too invested in the crippling state of our national infrastructure and gender inequality to have a chuckle at some good ol’ fashioned poop jokes. WELL LOOK NO FURTHER. FET also puts on plays and festivals each semester.

The shows guarantee a good time for everyone who likes to:

1)   Laugh

2)   Cry

3)   Get rowdy in the philosophy department

Where: The BBox is located in the back of Collins Hall. It is between the church and the creepy building where your language professor has office hours (Faber).

When: Shows start at 8 PM on Fridays and Saturdays. IF YOU AREN’T THERE BY 7:30 PM, YOU MAY NOT GET A SEAT. You might not have heard of us, but other people have.

(Coming up: Free Pizza Sketch Comedy Show March 4&5)

Sidenote: FET parties are rare but extravagant. I once kissed 14 strangers at a party. One week later, the university contracted a campus-wide mumps outbreak.

Follow FET on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat (fet.blackbox), and Grindr @fetblackbox

*After three years in FET, I have yet to meet a “hot comedian.”